Royal Bank of Canada’s Cutomer Service. What to Expect.

So lets start with a little history of my relationship with the Royal Bank of Canada, (RBC) as they like to be called. When I moved back to Vancouver in 2000 I opened up a personal account at the Pacific Blvd branch as a place to deposit my pay cheques at the time. I still have that account, going into it’s 11th year.

Four years ago I opened up a business account for my freelance web design jobs. This account was opened mainly for my main client at the time, based in the USA to pay me via wire transfers which they did bi-weekly for almost 3 years.

Today I went in with cheques made out to my business account. A Canadian dollar cheque and a US dollar cheque from the same company that I used to get my wire transfers from.

I was told by “little miss nice fake smile” teller that they have to put a 15 day hold on my $400 US cheque while it gets sent back to the states for confirmation of the “funds” before I can have my money. Money that I need because I’m trying to pay my fucking rent that was 6 days ago. So after a combined 13 years of paying my fucking fees and surcharges for everything under the sun with two accounts this is what they call customer service. I’d wonder if there is such thing as a break for loyalty, apparently not. If I didn’t need this account for various things I would have closed both of them today and told the whole fucking place to fuck off. I’m more than pissed and sick and tired of always getting fucked over by these money hungry, greed based establishments.

Now in order to not get evicted because I can’t with 15 business days and two weekends for my whopping $400 dollar cheque to clear I have contact the company that sent me the US cheque and see if they can simply do the wire transfer like they used to as that will only take 3 days to clear and with, you guessed it a $15.00 fucking surcharge for Royal (fuck you very much) Bank to “process” it.

As soon as I am able I’ll be closing my accounts here. Fuck You RBC!!
I’ve had enough.

My Take On The News Of The Day

AIG and the Bonuses the Execs are Getting:

Contracts or not these assholes should not be getting their bonuses from the now publicly owned company that they drove into the ground. Is there no justice anywhere? Here I am, as so many others are, struggling to find new work after losing my job to the poor economy, not because I was doing a poor job. These guys get rewarded millions for doing a shitty job and affecting the lives of million. Do us all a favor, collect your bonuses and blow your fucking heads off because you are simply scum.
Cement Truck Driver in Calgary:

This guy kills a whole family in Calgary after rearending and crushing the car they were in. He has a negative driving record as long as my arm with witnesses testifying that he was seen speeding, passing on the shoulder and driving like a complete moron. He has also confessed to throwing a half empty bottle of vodka into the back of his truck at the scene. More concerned with getting rid of incriminating evidence than he was with the car load of people he just killed.

A life in jail is too good for this guy. Just fry the motherfucker and get it over with.

George Bush Starts His World Tour In Calgary:

1500 morons paid $400 a piece to have a chicken dinner and listen to G.W. talk about his dog, his wife, his parents and the new president. Apparently the first stop on his “world tour” he picked Calgary because it’s an oil town. I challenge anyone who paid and went to this event to prove to me why they aren’t complete fucking idiots. Idiots paying to see an idiot talk about his dog. Just when I thought there was hope with Obama I’m shown exactly why guys like Bush get elected in the first place. Because the world is still full of redneck retards.

That’s it for today,…I’m too pissed off to continue.

Life in Hockey Terms

I was out for beers with my friend Mark tonight and we were talking about the fact that to succeed in certain (or most) endeavors that we take in our lives we must at some point succumb to “the game” and play it to get to where we want to be and get what we want out of our time here.

If we look at our lives like the NHL this is what I see. There are the few elite (using the term loosely) who own the teams, they have control over almost any aspect of us regardless (IE: government) weather we like it or not. Then there are the managers and the coaches all there to make things happen the way they see fit based on what the “man” wants. Then there are the players, guys who have fought tooth and nail to make it to where they are. If they’re lucky they have a good run on a good team and make a shit load of money and perhaps eventually get a shot at coaching or managing a team later on in life. These are the guys that deserve success. Not just in a direct hockey context but in a general life context. Those of us who fight to do something different with our lives, our time and our energy deserve, in the bigger picture some sort of pay-off.

Now we look at the arenas and the people that clean the stands, mop the floors, serve the spectators popcorn, hot dogs and over-priced beer etc. Those, as with a lot of the spectators are 80 percent of the rest of the population. The working stiff with mere hopes and dreams that most will never see the light of day due to the paths we’ve chosen, debt, kids, life etc. Is this the end? Are we all destined to be mere hot dog vendors in the larger game of life? I don’t think so.

I have plans in the works to at least throw my hat in the ring and give the game a shot. Definitely not in the hockey sense because anyone that knows me knows that would just result in a wheezing pile of nerd on the ice. I think we should all, in our time, give our dreams and our goals a chance in whatever form they may be. But like in Hockey, you can’t score if you’re not playing the game.

Car Dealerships and Shitty Service.

Well apparently things have changed extensively since I was a kid or maybe I just worked for a really good car dealership.

While growing up I worked at a Toyota dealership in Chilliwack, B.C. I started as a lot boy, later on to be a detailer/undercoat applicator. In my time there I learned a lot about customer service. I learned that when some spends thousands of dollars on a new or used car it’s usually a big step, a large purchase and these people are to be treated with respect and given the best service possible. When someone brought their new purchase in for anything after the initial purchase, when the work was done the mechanics would drive it into my wash bay and I’d give it a quick wash and once over before taking it out to the customer.

Well, recently I bought a used 2007 Nissan Xterra from Morrey Nissan Burnaby. I needed something for remote road trips and to carry my drums around in. Other than that I don’t drive much. As part of the sales pitch I was shown the “Certified Nissan Checklist” that is apparently done on all used cars at Nissan dealerships. So with a little more confidence in the vehicle I was looking at I went further and eventually bought it. Part of my “deal” was them throwing in a retractable cargo cover for the back so I can cover my photo gear when traveling. I was told by my salesman Brian Tull that they had to order it and he’d call me when it arrived. As I picked up the car he then notified me that there was only one key and that he’d order a new one. We agreed as I left that when both items where in he’d call me.

I leave the dealership and start traveling to a friend’s place for dinner. On the way I notice that there is a warning light for the tire pressure. I pull into the next gas station, look in the manual to find out exactly what this meant and continued to check the tire pressure as advised. I Checked and topped up all the tires and continued on my way,…the light didn’t go off, nothing had changed.

The next day I was looking through the truck and noticed a couple small things that were missing, a small rubber stopper on the hatch door, and a broken latch hook on the shallow back cargo area. I called Brian and notified him of these things that need to be fixed. We agreed that when the key, key fob, and cargo cover where in I’d make an appointment and come in for everything.

I then proceeded to send Brian an email so he had a point form list of everything we had talked about. Then,…I waited.

In the meantime my good friends Miguel and Tanya went to the same dealership and bought their Xterra from a salesman named Carlos (apparently one there that gives a shit). Two days later they got their spare key and the cargo cover they decided to also purchase. Me, well I continued to wait for Brian to call me about mine. I gave it a couple of days and called. Brian was not in that day so I left a message. Two more days and I had heard nothing.

I call again, get a hold of Brian and he lets me know that everything is there so I make my appointment for 3 pm a couple days later. I also ask about the fact that my keyless key fob quit working and he says to go to London Drugs and get a new watch type battery that goes inside it.

Two days later I get there right at 3, I take my keys to the service manager and he walks me through what they have in the work order. Check the tire pressure warning light, new second key and key fob, and retractable cargo cover. I also let him know about the latch on the other cargo lid and he puts it in the work order.

I was told my truck would be ready around 4:30. At 4:45 I went to the service office again and was told there was an issue with the cargo cover and it will be about 15 more minutes. I went back to the showroom and sat down. While waiting I over heard some of a conversation where my name was brought up. I later found out that the cargo “latch” repair was not cleared by the boss and he had an issue with it. So on my time they worked it out between the two of them. I was soon also told that the tire pressure warning light was on because there were two sensors that were failing and they have to order them in. At 5:20 pm, twenty minutes after I was to pick-up my date for the evening I got my dirty truck back and told that when the sensors come in I’ll get a call for a re-booking to replace the faulty ones. The faulty ones that should have been fucking replaced during the “Certified Nissan Check” before the fucking truck was put on the lot.

So over almost two and half hours I got a new key and key fob, a rubber stopper, a new cargo door and they popped the retractable cargo cover into place. My dead key fob was also given back to me, still dead. According to my salesman Nissan doesn’t carry batteries for their key fobs.

Late for my date I got into my dirty truck and made my way back home, the 40 minute drive I’ll have to make twice more when they get my tire sensors in. Good thing I don’t have to wiat for a phone call from Brian for these as the service guy is calling me,…or supposedly is.

It’s a good thing I haven’t gone to London Drugs yet to get the new battery for my first keyfob as it seems the second one is already dead too.

Thanks Brian and Morrey Nissan!! You guys do a real stand-up job.

Common Sense

Alec and I have been joking around lately that common sense is so rare these days that it’s become a superpower.

Today I witnessed one of the most ridiculous lacks of said sense.

I decided to take a little road trip up the sea to sky highway and see what I could find for photo opportunities. As soon as I passed the 5 lane clusterfuck that is known as the Horseshoe Bay Ferry Terminal I soon realized that I was in for a lot of road construction as BC tries to prepare for the wonderful Olympics.

Basically 2/3rds of the highway is under construction so traffic is down to one 50 kmh lane most of the way. Not a big deal for me today as I wasn’t in a hurry.

So anyway, there’s a bunch of people all lined up, weaving and snaking through a slow construction zone. As we come out of the construction and the road opens up to two lanes everyone picks up speed and people are passing etc etc. I’m picking up speed but not passing so I stay in the right lane. We all no sooner get up to our regular traveling speeds when we enter a BLIND two lane corner. Well as I come around the corner to my utter astonishment there is some fucking MORON in a red Toyota Yaris stopped dead halfway in the right lane and half on the narrow shoulder. They’re literally straddling the white shoulder line, passenger door is open and some knob is out pissing, puking, traking a picture …I don’t know. I was too busy trying to avoid a fucking collision to notice exactly what the fuck they were doing.

So what part of the brain looks at this situation and thinks, yeah, I know people are anxious to get going, coming out of a construction zone, two lanes of highspeed traffic on one of the most dangerous pieces of highway in the province but “fuck it” lets stop here on the side of a blind corner with half my car in the lane while my idiot fuckwad friend gets out to do whatever it was he was doing??

If I had more time to think while avoiding a rear-end collision with your moron-mobile, sending it slamming into the rock face I would have pulled over, walked back and punched the driver square in the fucking face. Use your fucking brain or stay home.

Back to your regular scheduled PG programming.

Losing My Respect…

for people that have none.

So I’m at the Vancouver International Auto Show, there’s cars and trucks everywhere and tons of people. Fair enough, they’re not all bad but here’s a few instances where there should simply be a moron policing system that simply extracates some of them from the planet.

I enter the main area and find the 2009 Dodge Challenger, I’ve been drooling about this car since it was announced. As I’m taking some pics I see out of the corner of my eye some idiot standing on the back of another car, on the painted bumper of a brand new car to take a photo of the Challenger. As the poor car dealer person asks him nicely to get down the idiot gives him attitude like there’s nothing wrong with standing on someone elses new car. What the Fuck?

A few minutes later some “parent” (using the term loosely) allowed his 5 year old to climb up the front hood of a sports car on display. Excuse me, are you high? If you can’t control your spawn leave them at home with granny.
There were literally kids running around climbing in and on cars like it was the ball room at fuckin McDonalds. No wonder a lot of kids are useless fuck-ups these days if that’s the extent of the discipline they’re getting.

…and I don’t know what it is with me but it seems whenever I’m carrying my camera people walking toward me will look right at me, make eye contact then proceed to walk right into me. I don’t get it. If I don’t make some evasive manouvers they’re hitting me and my gear. If I ever become that stupid, ignorant or comatose that I can’t even respect other peoples space/belongs/rights etc,…just shoot me in the back of the head.

There’s my rant for the day, please proceed with your day.

Good Mechanics

Yesterday I went to rehearse with aband and on the way I was reminded that my truck had an issue. It was leaking anti-freeze inside of the cab, the heater core was leaking. It had been doing it for a little while and I had wet carpet etc on the passenger side floor.

Attached to the same building as the rehearsal rooms is “Tong’s Mechanical” A small two bay garage just off of West 2nd Ave. run by a small elderly asian man. Upon arrival I decided to ask him about my turcks problem, he figured it was the heater core, told me what it would cost and I left him the truck. He had other cars in the shop but still managed to call me at 7pm on a Sunday to tell me my truck was ready. I went down today on my lunch hour to pick up my truck and was very impressed.

My price was what he quoted me, he showed me the old heater core and how it was leaking. I got in the truck to drive home and noticed that he had cleaned the floor mat and my carpeting of all liquid and mess.

So Kudos to Tongs. I recommend them to anyone with car problems.

Rogers Wireless – Go Green and Fuck Yourself!

So a while back I decided to get do the responsible thing and end the stream of paper bills that come in my snail mailbox thus trying to save a few trees in the process. Any company that I deal with that offered online invoices had my attention. So as with my cable and my bank statement etc etc I was getting notices for my cell phone that my online invoices were ready to view. Rogers would send me the email and then I would try to log in to see my invoices.

Nothing. I would get password errors, I would get username errors, I would get some time out error etc etc. Every single time I would get an email alert and try to log in I would be denied. I finally got fed up and called to get my bills back to being sent in paper format. The fucking automated asshole on the other end of the line hangs up on me. I call back, get transfered to three different departments all just to get my bills back. When I suggest that perhaps someone should fix the web site the guy on the other end sheepishly in a defeated tone says, “yeah well, it’s been broken for about 8 months now”.

Excuse me? Eight months? I’m glad to see Rogers is on top of things, about as together as Telus. Perhaps I’ll try a new cell carrier soon, one that has their shit together.

Fucking Morons.

The Story of a Small Boy, and The Police

There once was a boy who long ago used to to listen to the radio, a small portable transistor radio with an antennea and all, that ran on a single 9 volt battery. He used to listen to it often but usually at night while forced to “go to sleep” he’d hide it under his pillow and listen quietly to the songs that would play through the feathers.

As time went on and he grew older, his parents graciously bought him a small beat-up drum kit in which he would learn to play, playing along to many songs from many bands but always coming back to a certain band for a challenge and inspiration. As this boy grew up, heading into juniour highschool The Police became the underlying soundtrack to his existance, “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” still sends him back to his first crush on a girl, (Chrissy Bohmer was beautiful and never did show any interest in him). As time went on and the boy was at the age to go to concerts The Police had called it quits as a band and there was no chance for him to see them live.

As life went on and drumming became the forefront of his plans The Police and especially Stewart Copeland were always there to inspire and conspire within his mind. Collaborating with the likes of Zeppelin and the late great John Bonham to help this boy develop his own style of drumming (if you can call it that).

The boy grew into a man (okay almost) and over the years has had a little taste of the golden apple but as life moves on priorities change and this boy is presently doing other things other than drumming.

On the 27th and 30th of May somewhere in GM Place here in Vancouver there will be a small boy within a man with the biggest fucking smile on his face that you’ve ever seen. As The Police start off they’re reunion tour after 23 years of waiting there will be a rush of memories as this boys soundtrack starts to rewind. From highschool memories to drum chops he wished he could pull off there will be a solid constant in that every song will have it’s own place in this boy’s heart and mind. One thing you can be as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow is that when The Police break into “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic”, well….you get the picture.

Bush, the longest running JOKE!

Ok please tell me I’m not the only one that sees this. Is it not fucking obvious that this most recent “threat”to the free world’s security is just another blatant sign that GW is a complete lying sack of shit moron president?

Let’s recap shall we. September 11th happens (and was allowed to happen because Bush was too busy on vacation to read the briefings a month earlier). He allows the Saudis to fly away free and clear and the “war on terrorism” is launched. Except that instead of spending the time and money to hunt down Osama Bin Laden Bush sends his troops in a bee-line to Iraq to bomb the shit out of innocent people for their oil. Ohhhh, but he had to liberate them from Hussein, yeah sure and he’s been in custody how many years now while the US helps Iraq “rebuild and restructure”. That’s going so well the Iraqis are driving car bombs into the troops. Good on ya GW.

Now while all this is going on nobody’s bothered to look for the real guy that was responsible for 9/11 because unless he’s carrying around billions of gallons of oil well, we really don’t care too much about him.

Now look what’s happened. All this time Osama’s little evil fucks have been plotting “bigger and better” things for the western world and now the airports are locked down like 5 years ago and we’re in a “code red”. The media is in “fear spewing” mode again and everyone is anxious about flying, boat cruises etc etc.

So while GW was playing war for some tasty oil, blowing money and resources (and lives) in Iraq, Osama’s been playing with his chemistry set and plotting new ways to kill us all. Excellent, perhaps the retarded fucking Americans can vote him in again for another term and he can read “dick and jane” with some more 3rd graders while we get our asses handed to us for a third time.